Hey there Jason, back the fuck off, ok? The e-mail was a joke, Shuff understood that, there is a huge story behind the haiku that you dont know, so instead of coming on here and assuming that you know what the hell is going on, back the fuck off and shut your mouth. Id just like to point this out once again, you have no idea whats going on. Hey, why not a third time: you have no idea whats going on. Do you get that, my friend? On a lighter note, im going to eat your dog.

hmmm Teh Funney?
An open letter to the makers of Laffy Taffy(TM)

Dear Sirs and/or Misses,

I have been a proud consumer of your delicious Laffy Taffys for over 5 years now. I have been consistently delighted not only with the tangy tartness of your candy and its seemingly infinite flexibility, but also with the humorous jokes inscribed on the inside of the candy wrapper that would never fail to brighten my day.

And so as a loyal consumer, I must write to you and inform you that recently I have become concerned with the quality of some of your "jokes." Take, for example:

Question: How do you make a witch itch?
Answer: Take way her W.

or

Question: What kind of tree grows in your hand?
Answer: A palm tree.

Frankly, I don't understand how these made it to the vaunted inside cover... I can only surmise that someone is sleeping with the Taffy Wrapper Supervisor.

Either improve the quality of your jokes, sirs and misses, or I will be sadly forced to find a competitor's product to replace the Taffy with.

I have prepared a list of suitable temporary replacement jokes for you to choose from. I have chosen AIDS as a common theme in honor of the ongoing AIDS conference at the United Nations:

Question: What does a person afflicted with HIV sell for 5 cents a cup from a stand in the summer time?
Answer: LemonAIDS!

Question: And where does he or she get it from?
Answer: It's home-mAIDS!

Question: What does someone afflicted with HIV enjoy spreading on his toast?
Answer: MarmalAIDS!

Question: What is a person afflicted with HIV's very favorite party game?
Answer: CharAIDS!

Question: What about their favorite card game?
Answer: SpAIDS!

Question: What do you call a Christian HIV sufferer living in the Middle Ages who is on his way to conquer Jerusalem?
Answer: CrusAIDSer!

Question: What does a policeman afflicted with HIV use to cordon off a street?
Answer: BlockAIDS!

Question: Where might he use one?
Answer: At parAIDS!

You may use these free of charge, with my total permission, as the author. Good day gentlemen and ladies.

Sincerely,
Sam Black

(it occured to me, that none of you know that i didn't write the taffy thing)