wow, my first post here. i just wanna say to bw that this is a really good idea and i get much enjoyment out of reading the posts...i feel closer to you guys! :) um, so as not to waste precious posting space (because sam does enough of that...*wink*), i'll give a quick run down of my life. my mim has finally realized that we intentionally keep her at a distance. i want her to be there for me in the future, but i don't know what to do. i'm really suprised that she hasn't figured it out till now. its really putting a damper on my life here and takes up a majority of my thoughts. help anyone? and i'm going to copenhagen for 3 days with someone i consider my best friend here. but she doesn't consider me even a really good friend. like i'm not good enough or something...and she's bringing her homie with her (i'm not apart of this homie club, she stated that). and so i'm just gonna stick it out, but it kind of sucks cock. any help from my childern? much love, ann
PS- is this posted a second time?
Saturday, October 06, 2001
Friday, October 05, 2001
Dammit Monsta, why the fuck can't you correctly create a haiku, try this one Robert "frost"
My heart burns from pain
Pain from the spicy sausage
Die please, eat a dick
eh' eh'?
how about this one
Hypocrisy Sucks
We all do it, you most oft'
Find your soul to sell
eh' eh' eh'?
thats haiku, 5-7-5
5 syllables,7, 5 syllables....dumb motherfucker, so far you havn't gotten it right goddamn fuckups (joke)
My heart burns from pain
Pain from the spicy sausage
Die please, eat a dick
eh' eh'?
how about this one
Hypocrisy Sucks
We all do it, you most oft'
Find your soul to sell
eh' eh' eh'?
thats haiku, 5-7-5
5 syllables,7, 5 syllables....dumb motherfucker, so far you havn't gotten it right goddamn fuckups (joke)
guess what sam, yeah your an idiot.you should have known that was a joke, i mean damn. everyone knew i was joking. im just not gonna say anything else regarding the sam/jenna thing cuz yeah. people take me way too seriously, and theres shit i shouldnt say. so yeah, and then maybe sam can take his cock and put it back in his pants and stop whipping people with his high level of testosterone.
It was a dark and rainy night. Water drenched me in it's wetness and made me long to be home in my own shower and out of the rain. I put on my clothes and stepped back into my office.
My name's Dick. Dick P. Niss. My friends call me 'Wiener' because I won the hot dog eating contest at the '72 Saratoga County festival. Actually, that's not completely true. I don't have any friends. In this business you can't afford to.
I'm a private eye.
BAM!!!! The door to my office swings open just as I finish pulling on my trousers. It's Fishy McSkank, my secretary, snapping her gum and strutting in a miniskirt that's at least 3 sizes too small.
'Wiener?' she snapped her gum at me with a biting touch of wit. 'There's a lady here to see you.'
'Don't you ever knock?' I cleverly retorted. I was always quick with the line. That's why my ex left me. 'Send her in and take off for the night, kitten. Go find yourself a tiger.' I grinned. 'I'll entertain the client.'
'Sure you will, Wiener.' She popped her gum and slammed the door behind her, giving one last look my way as she stepped out. I remembered to take down the girlie pictures from my wall just in time.
'Knock, knock,' said a soft voice from behind the door and in came a nice piece of meat. We're talking Grade A beef here, if you know what I mean, enough to make any man stop in his tracks and salivate.
'You got the wrong guy,' I said, loosening my tie. 'Butcher's one store down.' The meat delivery guy apologized and left.
And just then she strolls in. We're talking legs up to her shoulders and curves to put a circle to shame all beneath a red camisole shawl. My jaw dropped and my tongue rolled onto the floor. She picked it up and handed it to me and sat herself down.
'I'm looking for help Dick, and I'm told that you're the man to talk to.'
'Please, call me Wiener, Ms...?' She crossed her legs the other way. 'Tight. My name's Cherry Tight.'
I knew that of course. I'm a private eye.
My name's Dick. Dick P. Niss. My friends call me 'Wiener' because I won the hot dog eating contest at the '72 Saratoga County festival. Actually, that's not completely true. I don't have any friends. In this business you can't afford to.
I'm a private eye.
BAM!!!! The door to my office swings open just as I finish pulling on my trousers. It's Fishy McSkank, my secretary, snapping her gum and strutting in a miniskirt that's at least 3 sizes too small.
'Wiener?' she snapped her gum at me with a biting touch of wit. 'There's a lady here to see you.'
'Don't you ever knock?' I cleverly retorted. I was always quick with the line. That's why my ex left me. 'Send her in and take off for the night, kitten. Go find yourself a tiger.' I grinned. 'I'll entertain the client.'
'Sure you will, Wiener.' She popped her gum and slammed the door behind her, giving one last look my way as she stepped out. I remembered to take down the girlie pictures from my wall just in time.
'Knock, knock,' said a soft voice from behind the door and in came a nice piece of meat. We're talking Grade A beef here, if you know what I mean, enough to make any man stop in his tracks and salivate.
'You got the wrong guy,' I said, loosening my tie. 'Butcher's one store down.' The meat delivery guy apologized and left.
And just then she strolls in. We're talking legs up to her shoulders and curves to put a circle to shame all beneath a red camisole shawl. My jaw dropped and my tongue rolled onto the floor. She picked it up and handed it to me and sat herself down.
'I'm looking for help Dick, and I'm told that you're the man to talk to.'
'Please, call me Wiener, Ms...?' She crossed her legs the other way. 'Tight. My name's Cherry Tight.'
I knew that of course. I'm a private eye.
Thursday, October 04, 2001
Well, now that nobody hate anybody eles *GLARE GLARE* we can move on... Let us all just have peace, find happieness, and live. I have gotten this advice repeatedly now, and i'm not too sure how to go about this thing you people call "living". Any sugestions would be greatly appreciated. That is all...
Hey there Jason, back the fuck off, ok? The e-mail was a joke, Shuff understood that, there is a huge story behind the haiku that you dont know, so instead of coming on here and assuming that you know what the hell is going on, back the fuck off and shut your mouth. Id just like to point this out once again, you have no idea whats going on. Hey, why not a third time: you have no idea whats going on. Do you get that, my friend? On a lighter note, im going to eat your dog.
hmmm Teh Funney?
An open letter to the makers of Laffy Taffy(TM)
Dear Sirs and/or Misses,
I have been a proud consumer of your delicious Laffy Taffys for over 5 years now. I have been consistently delighted not only with the tangy tartness of your candy and its seemingly infinite flexibility, but also with the humorous jokes inscribed on the inside of the candy wrapper that would never fail to brighten my day.
And so as a loyal consumer, I must write to you and inform you that recently I have become concerned with the quality of some of your "jokes." Take, for example:
Question: How do you make a witch itch?
Answer: Take way her W.
or
Question: What kind of tree grows in your hand?
Answer: A palm tree.
Frankly, I don't understand how these made it to the vaunted inside cover... I can only surmise that someone is sleeping with the Taffy Wrapper Supervisor.
Either improve the quality of your jokes, sirs and misses, or I will be sadly forced to find a competitor's product to replace the Taffy with.
I have prepared a list of suitable temporary replacement jokes for you to choose from. I have chosen AIDS as a common theme in honor of the ongoing AIDS conference at the United Nations:
Question: What does a person afflicted with HIV sell for 5 cents a cup from a stand in the summer time?
Answer: LemonAIDS!
Question: And where does he or she get it from?
Answer: It's home-mAIDS!
Question: What does someone afflicted with HIV enjoy spreading on his toast?
Answer: MarmalAIDS!
Question: What is a person afflicted with HIV's very favorite party game?
Answer: CharAIDS!
Question: What about their favorite card game?
Answer: SpAIDS!
Question: What do you call a Christian HIV sufferer living in the Middle Ages who is on his way to conquer Jerusalem?
Answer: CrusAIDSer!
Question: What does a policeman afflicted with HIV use to cordon off a street?
Answer: BlockAIDS!
Question: Where might he use one?
Answer: At parAIDS!
You may use these free of charge, with my total permission, as the author. Good day gentlemen and ladies.
Sincerely,
Sam Black
(it occured to me, that none of you know that i didn't write the taffy thing)
hmmm Teh Funney?
An open letter to the makers of Laffy Taffy(TM)
Dear Sirs and/or Misses,
I have been a proud consumer of your delicious Laffy Taffys for over 5 years now. I have been consistently delighted not only with the tangy tartness of your candy and its seemingly infinite flexibility, but also with the humorous jokes inscribed on the inside of the candy wrapper that would never fail to brighten my day.
And so as a loyal consumer, I must write to you and inform you that recently I have become concerned with the quality of some of your "jokes." Take, for example:
Question: How do you make a witch itch?
Answer: Take way her W.
or
Question: What kind of tree grows in your hand?
Answer: A palm tree.
Frankly, I don't understand how these made it to the vaunted inside cover... I can only surmise that someone is sleeping with the Taffy Wrapper Supervisor.
Either improve the quality of your jokes, sirs and misses, or I will be sadly forced to find a competitor's product to replace the Taffy with.
I have prepared a list of suitable temporary replacement jokes for you to choose from. I have chosen AIDS as a common theme in honor of the ongoing AIDS conference at the United Nations:
Question: What does a person afflicted with HIV sell for 5 cents a cup from a stand in the summer time?
Answer: LemonAIDS!
Question: And where does he or she get it from?
Answer: It's home-mAIDS!
Question: What does someone afflicted with HIV enjoy spreading on his toast?
Answer: MarmalAIDS!
Question: What is a person afflicted with HIV's very favorite party game?
Answer: CharAIDS!
Question: What about their favorite card game?
Answer: SpAIDS!
Question: What do you call a Christian HIV sufferer living in the Middle Ages who is on his way to conquer Jerusalem?
Answer: CrusAIDSer!
Question: What does a policeman afflicted with HIV use to cordon off a street?
Answer: BlockAIDS!
Question: Where might he use one?
Answer: At parAIDS!
You may use these free of charge, with my total permission, as the author. Good day gentlemen and ladies.
Sincerely,
Sam Black
(it occured to me, that none of you know that i didn't write the taffy thing)
well, since i have no life, i found one of those bullshit things that you write when your teacher says that you'll put them in envolopes and read them later...i wrote this in sixth grade, when i actually cared about how i write, so here it is (this is mainly for sam/mallory): I love it when people feel compelled to offer comment on my life and the decisions I make, especially when they do so from a position of ignorance and with the attitude that they, knowing nothing about my life, my experiences or the lessons I carry with me into each situation, know more than I do about my heart and what's best for me....its not much, but hopefully itll help...
in lighter news (dunno if this is the best thing, so i may have jack remove it later)...I've lost friends before due to misunderstandings, and I've lost friends due to simply drifting apart, and to my regret, I didn't do much about it. Now I've got another friendship being tested, and this time I want to do something about it. Problem is, I'm not really sure what to do to come through this tough time with the relationship intact. I'm hoping that by just hanging on and being open about what's going on in my head, things will turn out ok. I don't know what else to do.
I am, once again, coming to terms with the fact that I can't have everything I want. It's a little frightening, but liberating at the same time. I don't really know where im going with this, but yeah, later Bs' <=(plural of B)
in lighter news (dunno if this is the best thing, so i may have jack remove it later)...I've lost friends before due to misunderstandings, and I've lost friends due to simply drifting apart, and to my regret, I didn't do much about it. Now I've got another friendship being tested, and this time I want to do something about it. Problem is, I'm not really sure what to do to come through this tough time with the relationship intact. I'm hoping that by just hanging on and being open about what's going on in my head, things will turn out ok. I don't know what else to do.
I am, once again, coming to terms with the fact that I can't have everything I want. It's a little frightening, but liberating at the same time. I don't really know where im going with this, but yeah, later Bs' <=(plural of B)
wow, I hate you guys, not really, but I wanted to be the guy who bitched on this forum...I was gonna be the bitch of the site...damn, too late for that...well I dont really have anything of value to bitch about as of yet but knowing people, and me in general, I'll find something quick...and for sam and jenna, i have an excerpt from a Staind song.....(i know how you love staind sam) "WELL FUCK THEM! AND FUCK HER! AND FUCK HIM!" you guys need to learn that who gives a fuck about what other people think about you guys going out...and with that, fuck y'all im out...
Nicole told me to post this and she told me to say "Hi, Sam!"
Demon
By: Anne Sexton
I mentioned my demon to a friend
and the friend swam in oil and came forth to me
greasy and cryptic
and said,
“I’m thinking of taking him out of hock.
I pawned him years ago.”
Who would buy?
The pawned demon,
Yellowing with forgetfulness
and hand at his throat?
Take him out of hock, my friend,
but beware of the grief
that will fly into your mouth like a bird.
My demon,
too often undressed,
too often a crucifix I bring forth,
too often a dead daisy I give water to
too often the child I give birth to
and then abort, nameless, nameless…
earthless.
Oh demon within,
I am afraid and seldom put my hand up
to my mouth and stitch it up
covering you, smothering you
from the public voyeury eyes
of my typewriter keys.
If I should pawn you,
what bullion would they give for you,
what pennies, swimming in their copper kisses
what bird on its way to perishing?
No.
No.
I accept you,
you come with the dead who people my dreams,
who walk all over my desk
(as in Mother, cancer blossoming on her
Best & Co. tits—
waltzing with her tissue paper ghost)
the dead, who give sweets to the diabetic in me,
who give bolts to the seizure of roses
that sometimes fly in and out of me.
Yes.
Yes.
I accept you, demon.
I will not cover your mouth.
If it be man I love, apple laden and foul
or if it be woman I love, sick unto her blood
and its sugary gasses and tumbling branches.
Demon come forth,
even if it be God I call forth
standing like a carrion,
wanting to eat me,
starting at the lips and tongue.
And me wanting to glide into His spoils,
I take bread and wine,
and the demon farts and giggles,
at my letting God out of my mouth
anonymous woman
at the anonymous altar.
Demon
By: Anne Sexton
I mentioned my demon to a friend
and the friend swam in oil and came forth to me
greasy and cryptic
and said,
“I’m thinking of taking him out of hock.
I pawned him years ago.”
Who would buy?
The pawned demon,
Yellowing with forgetfulness
and hand at his throat?
Take him out of hock, my friend,
but beware of the grief
that will fly into your mouth like a bird.
My demon,
too often undressed,
too often a crucifix I bring forth,
too often a dead daisy I give water to
too often the child I give birth to
and then abort, nameless, nameless…
earthless.
Oh demon within,
I am afraid and seldom put my hand up
to my mouth and stitch it up
covering you, smothering you
from the public voyeury eyes
of my typewriter keys.
If I should pawn you,
what bullion would they give for you,
what pennies, swimming in their copper kisses
what bird on its way to perishing?
No.
No.
I accept you,
you come with the dead who people my dreams,
who walk all over my desk
(as in Mother, cancer blossoming on her
Best & Co. tits—
waltzing with her tissue paper ghost)
the dead, who give sweets to the diabetic in me,
who give bolts to the seizure of roses
that sometimes fly in and out of me.
Yes.
Yes.
I accept you, demon.
I will not cover your mouth.
If it be man I love, apple laden and foul
or if it be woman I love, sick unto her blood
and its sugary gasses and tumbling branches.
Demon come forth,
even if it be God I call forth
standing like a carrion,
wanting to eat me,
starting at the lips and tongue.
And me wanting to glide into His spoils,
I take bread and wine,
and the demon farts and giggles,
at my letting God out of my mouth
anonymous woman
at the anonymous altar.
Jason does have a point, but it is also our own stupidity, jelousy, selfishness, and all around being-human-ness. I don't know how to fix this, you can't get fid of the need for a girlfriend, and you can't get rid of human nature, so, these problems will persist for our entire lives.... until we find the one. And now i sound like a flamming retard, but thats okay, thats how i feel right now.
Oh, BTW: Ann is going to join our marry little blog! Now we are international!
Oh, BTW: Ann is going to join our marry little blog! Now we are international!
Wednesday, October 03, 2001
YOU CANT VOTE ON THIS NEW LAW AND WAY OF LIFE...BECAUSE I FUCKING SAY SO
HERE YE HERE YE, HENCE FORTH THIS NEW WAY OF LIFE AND GOLDEN RULE SHALL BE ESTABLISHED AT ONCE
THE NEW RULE FOR ALL OF US MALE BASTARDS IS THIS GODDAMIT: DICKS BEFORE CHICKS!!!!
paid for by the foundation of "dont you realize all our recent problems trace back to females" TM
HERE YE HERE YE, HENCE FORTH THIS NEW WAY OF LIFE AND GOLDEN RULE SHALL BE ESTABLISHED AT ONCE
THE NEW RULE FOR ALL OF US MALE BASTARDS IS THIS GODDAMIT: DICKS BEFORE CHICKS!!!!
paid for by the foundation of "dont you realize all our recent problems trace back to females" TM
It occured to me, that this is the fastest way (aside from BW) to get something around "the group"
Hey, Haiku time number two, just a few minutes after the first, aren't you lucky...
You all want Jenna,
but she's going out with me,
please leave her alone.
Goddamn, i am the Haiku pimp master.. even though my first one was wrong.. *sob*
so ill make up for it, Shuffy, BW, Kirk, this is for you
I 70v3 |-|4iku
It rox0rz j00 box0rz
g0d l33t iz m0' g3y.
Hey, Haiku time number two, just a few minutes after the first, aren't you lucky...
You all want Jenna,
but she's going out with me,
please leave her alone.
Goddamn, i am the Haiku pimp master.. even though my first one was wrong.. *sob*
so ill make up for it, Shuffy, BW, Kirk, this is for you
I 70v3 |-|4iku
It rox0rz j00 box0rz
g0d l33t iz m0' g3y.
Hmmm....Haiku time
Everyone wants everyone
It seems no one wants poor sam
But that is just fine
Way to many emotions
Not enough resoluitions
We all get screwed
See? Haiku, lazy man's poem, im a moron but i sound like Frost. Horrah..
I got yelled at by a Marine today.. i told him i didn't have anything to prove to him or my country, and he said that that was proof that i fail in everything that i do. Is this some kind of weird Marine logic, or was thsi guy just an idiot?
Open letter to those it may concern: ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH GETTTTTTTT OOOOOOVVVVVVVVVEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRR IIIIITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HE/SHE/IT DOESN'T LIKE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!... thank you for your time.
Everyone wants everyone
It seems no one wants poor sam
But that is just fine
Way to many emotions
Not enough resoluitions
We all get screwed
See? Haiku, lazy man's poem, im a moron but i sound like Frost. Horrah..
I got yelled at by a Marine today.. i told him i didn't have anything to prove to him or my country, and he said that that was proof that i fail in everything that i do. Is this some kind of weird Marine logic, or was thsi guy just an idiot?
Open letter to those it may concern: ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH GETTTTTTTT OOOOOOVVVVVVVVVEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRR IIIIITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HE/SHE/IT DOESN'T LIKE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!... thank you for your time.
Hey everybody!, its that time again *groans from crowd* more cryptic nothings!
Well, I wonder sometimes...maybe I should have just let Mr. Tinker cut out my heart and eat it when I had the chance. Avoid all the pain. But yeah, I've noticed something, most of the people that didn't go the the "fight for life don't killyourself!" assembly are having troubles..well. at least thats what it looks like to me
I really should listen to what that girl said to me "what it comes down to is, Parents need love..if you don't give it to them they're going to crack down"
yep yep...fuck you all
Well, I wonder sometimes...maybe I should have just let Mr. Tinker cut out my heart and eat it when I had the chance. Avoid all the pain. But yeah, I've noticed something, most of the people that didn't go the the "fight for life don't killyourself!" assembly are having troubles..well. at least thats what it looks like to me
I really should listen to what that girl said to me "what it comes down to is, Parents need love..if you don't give it to them they're going to crack down"
yep yep...fuck you all
Addressing this drug fest/orgy... I'm not ganna go unless there are more chicks... or, rather, a chick for me. Fuck you guys!
Anyway, If you happen to have an extra 1.5 Million dollors, and you want a missle base, then check out eBay for this huge place that is able to withstand a NUCLEAR BLAST.
Anyway, If you happen to have an extra 1.5 Million dollors, and you want a missle base, then check out eBay for this huge place that is able to withstand a NUCLEAR BLAST.
Well then, massive drug orgy at Jack's House!! ... or not..we could just have the orgy though...yeeah.
Well, yeah people need to get over themselves..myself included damnit. well, yeah the 240D is all but ares! (YEEEAAHH!) *cough* I mean, ..darn...
Yes this post is exceptionally pointless, and I have a better form of the rant I gave to jenna running around, so yeah...I'll post that sometime
Well, yeah people need to get over themselves..myself included damnit. well, yeah the 240D is all but ares! (YEEEAAHH!) *cough* I mean, ..darn...
Yes this post is exceptionally pointless, and I have a better form of the rant I gave to jenna running around, so yeah...I'll post that sometime
Im pretty sure we all just need to get together ina peacful enviroment and achieve a higher state of conciousness. (translation: Go to shuffy's and get fucked up beyond all recognition) after which there will be tea and crumpets. Why tea and crumpets you ask? Because i've never had a crumpet damnit. I want a goddamn crumpet.
On a side note: Jason, time for you to be shot in the face. Twice.
Hmm.. i guess it would be weak of me to post and have no real depth behind it after chastising BW for it.. so...... meh, to lazy.
On a side note: Jason, time for you to be shot in the face. Twice.
Hmm.. i guess it would be weak of me to post and have no real depth behind it after chastising BW for it.. so...... meh, to lazy.
She licks me sweaty,
Blood dripping cock with
Pleasent feeling of masochism bliss
I fucked her two times baby
With a metal sharpened bar
Her ass bled for hours onto my
New white couch that my wife bought me
The new couch stained with the blood
Of a newly de-virgined 9 year old
Of my daughters softball team.
Blood dripping cock with
Pleasent feeling of masochism bliss
I fucked her two times baby
With a metal sharpened bar
Her ass bled for hours onto my
New white couch that my wife bought me
The new couch stained with the blood
Of a newly de-virgined 9 year old
Of my daughters softball team.
Tuesday, October 02, 2001
shuffy lost his password, forgetful bugger that he is...so yeah, this is from him...
Damn. Once again, I think I’m setting myself up for failure. No matter what I do I get drawn back in…its like once you get a certain distance away, you slowly get drawn back in. When I think I’m over it…its back. This is combined with the fact that I have to bite my tongue every time I talk to my friends. The things I want to say I don’t...because everyone’s so touchy lately. I’m totally prepared to snap for no fucking reason…its all of this that slowly weighs up on a person. Oddly enough, I can still say I’m enjoying it. Still living, still experiencing new things, still thinking new thoughts. But the downsides are slowly piling on.
All because of people
Damn. Once again, I think I’m setting myself up for failure. No matter what I do I get drawn back in…its like once you get a certain distance away, you slowly get drawn back in. When I think I’m over it…its back. This is combined with the fact that I have to bite my tongue every time I talk to my friends. The things I want to say I don’t...because everyone’s so touchy lately. I’m totally prepared to snap for no fucking reason…its all of this that slowly weighs up on a person. Oddly enough, I can still say I’m enjoying it. Still living, still experiencing new things, still thinking new thoughts. But the downsides are slowly piling on.
All because of people
Why is it that I am not treated the same
What makes me so different
I try just as hard, if not more
Yet all my efforts wasted
worse then a slave, not even alive
i'm the whip you beat your kids with
worthless, trash, a meer piece of filth
all names i've been called before
There words hurt much, but actions hurt worse
a pain that scars my souls
crying and running I try to break free
though I only fall deeper in hell
But hell seems like heaven compared to my life
more bitter than any thought or dream
I'm beaten, I'm scared, I'm punished and traped
Its not a movie, its the story of me
The stinging, the pain, the wound, the scar
a process I go through daily
I'm beaten and hit, tired of being tricked
but still you persist to abuse me
Not with fingers, hands, a rope, or a knife
your actions and your words
They pierce through my skin, ripping me apart
but you say it, you laugh, you dont care
I thought my family was supposed to love me
though closer to death they push me
They treat me like crap, like im not even here
most of the time i wish it was true
If only I could runaway, just disappear
they wouldnt kill me anymore
But still I'm stuck here to be abused
until they've finally killed me
Everyday I cry, and its always your fault
you hurt me everytime
Thhey dont hit me, though they might as well
the pain is all the same
you tell me i'm nothing, just a waste of your time
you dont even give me a chance
you put me down, in everyway, everyday
I try to prove myself to you
I hand you the paper, without a glance you say 'good job'
another sheet falls to the floor
I work so hard, and all for what
you never seem to change
do you even care i'm alone in my room
crying myself to sleep
I'm worthless, I'm nothing, I've heard it so much
how could it not be true
I hate me, I hate the world, but mostly
I just hate you
Reaching and grabbing, I fall to my death
YOU're the one who pushed me down
all I wanted was life, my choice was death
I die, as i hit the ground
If I'm dead, then why does it still hurt
when you declare that i'm garbage once more
These were writen by Mallory, and she asked me to post them.
What makes me so different
I try just as hard, if not more
Yet all my efforts wasted
worse then a slave, not even alive
i'm the whip you beat your kids with
worthless, trash, a meer piece of filth
all names i've been called before
There words hurt much, but actions hurt worse
a pain that scars my souls
crying and running I try to break free
though I only fall deeper in hell
But hell seems like heaven compared to my life
more bitter than any thought or dream
I'm beaten, I'm scared, I'm punished and traped
Its not a movie, its the story of me
The stinging, the pain, the wound, the scar
a process I go through daily
I'm beaten and hit, tired of being tricked
but still you persist to abuse me
Not with fingers, hands, a rope, or a knife
your actions and your words
They pierce through my skin, ripping me apart
but you say it, you laugh, you dont care
I thought my family was supposed to love me
though closer to death they push me
They treat me like crap, like im not even here
most of the time i wish it was true
If only I could runaway, just disappear
they wouldnt kill me anymore
But still I'm stuck here to be abused
until they've finally killed me
Everyday I cry, and its always your fault
you hurt me everytime
Thhey dont hit me, though they might as well
the pain is all the same
you tell me i'm nothing, just a waste of your time
you dont even give me a chance
you put me down, in everyway, everyday
I try to prove myself to you
I hand you the paper, without a glance you say 'good job'
another sheet falls to the floor
I work so hard, and all for what
you never seem to change
do you even care i'm alone in my room
crying myself to sleep
I'm worthless, I'm nothing, I've heard it so much
how could it not be true
I hate me, I hate the world, but mostly
I just hate you
Reaching and grabbing, I fall to my death
YOU're the one who pushed me down
all I wanted was life, my choice was death
I die, as i hit the ground
If I'm dead, then why does it still hurt
when you declare that i'm garbage once more
These were writen by Mallory, and she asked me to post them.
hmm... Fingered slowly like the first time you came
The agents of oblivion descend upon the sane
Caked with mud and mother's blood
Playing death games in the rain
And we wonder how it feels to be free
I thought I heard them whisper mutiny
Living room rape scenes
We cut their throats while they slept
Dreaming and digesting shards of turtle shell
The television's blaring
And the ghost of Hitler speaks
Crowned with barbed-wire
I smear my warm semen on the walls of my oppression
I accuse God for the murder of eternity
My everything that is nothing
Christian propaganda and dog sperm
Degeneration...
The beautiful downgrade
Do you remember the first sunrise?
Sharpened bone clenched tight in your fist
Screaming into the blue
An urge to kill the sky
I can smell the forest like pussy in heat
Barefoot I run through the chaos
The assassins of freedom tend the burning of truth
As we walk these prison walls
It's maddening, always touching something
The agents of oblivion descend upon the sane
Caked with mud and mother's blood
Playing death games in the rain
And we wonder how it feels to be free
I thought I heard them whisper mutiny
Living room rape scenes
We cut their throats while they slept
Dreaming and digesting shards of turtle shell
The television's blaring
And the ghost of Hitler speaks
Crowned with barbed-wire
I smear my warm semen on the walls of my oppression
I accuse God for the murder of eternity
My everything that is nothing
Christian propaganda and dog sperm
Degeneration...
The beautiful downgrade
Do you remember the first sunrise?
Sharpened bone clenched tight in your fist
Screaming into the blue
An urge to kill the sky
I can smell the forest like pussy in heat
Barefoot I run through the chaos
The assassins of freedom tend the burning of truth
As we walk these prison walls
It's maddening, always touching something
Monday, October 01, 2001
Well, you bitch and you will recieve... Heres a neat site i stumbled across about The Origin of Phrases. Yes, i admit that i have used this blog to post things that are seemingly only important to me. But, geuss what? ITS MY DAMN BLOG! and if fellow blog members feel they want to ramble or babble a little, thats fine with me. That reminds me, dominic is ganna start posting on this thing. And at least i don't post about "My Cock"... when was the last time SAM kept with the original idea of posting cool links and so on??? ....*mumble*...damn...sam...*mumble*...
...BW? Cocky? No! Say it isn't so! Is this all you nice folks use the board for? i thought you were susposed to be putting stuff on it, like in the beginning, not just sending like an open e-mail to everyone. But hey maybe im wrong.
I've developed goneria again, and my hair is falling out in patches.
I've developed goneria again, and my hair is falling out in patches.
I would like to appologize for my previous state concerning me being scary... I AM SCARY! and i like being this way for it drives away the people i don't want to talk to. Well, thats not totally true, i might want to talk, i'm just not going to initiate the conversation because i use this as a test for people who care, and what they care about. You may have heard alot about me caring recently... and i've found that i've found a pretty good middle ground on what to care about. I want to talk to pretty much all of my friends again, like back in the day, but people seem to be cold towards me... probably because i was cold to them for a while. I appologize for being this way, lots has happened recently in my life and i would like to get people back up to date, if they are genuninly interested. If they arn't then thats fine, just say that, it won't hurt my feelings, i just own't tell you shit you don't care about. Another thing, i don't get pissed off at people for things they tell me, its the things they don't tell me i get pissed off about. If there is some subject that i express interest in (example: "how are things?") i really do care about that. I only inquire into things i care about, but just because i don't ask about it doesn't mean i don't care. If there is something that you (perverbial "you") think will piss me off, its ALOT better for me to hear it from you, then to head it through the grapevine... as i alwas seem to. I've been cocky about my involvment in the grapevine recently, and i don't like it all that much... i think it should stop, and people should just say what they mean and mean what they say. But i can't really see this ever happening because some people take things more seriously then others. I, personally, don't. Well, thats all i have for now, if you have any questions or comments on anything, or if you just want somebody to talk to, i'm here. I DO care about people... its odd, but its true... That is all...
OH, yea, it seems that we just keep posting cryptic nothings that only mean anything to people who know whats up. And for the ones that don't know whats up, they just think we are stupid, and never come back... good joke folks, keep those-not-so-informed-people off this damn blog! Uh, yea, anyway, How are things? wait, this isn't a person... i hate it when i'm talking to a wall and they don't reply... just like this! I'm being an evil bastard... is it because i'm in a good mood? or is it because i'm ready to rage for the FUN of it? I think i;ve found a good equalibrium between not caring about everything and paying attention to whats important. Even if whats important won't be important tomorrow, it still is today. oh, yea, and I'M NOT SCARY AT SCHOOL!... and if i am, please inform me of this... The song "Pushing Me Away" by Linkin Park is an awsome song as has some small amount of signifigance relating to my recent life. That is all...
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