I have a message to all of my male Omniscientish(tm) friends out there: Women. Avoid with an extreme predjudice. Now im not talking about all of the fairer sex, just the majority of those who dwell in our lovely little chunk of Hades. To better prepare my friends I'm gonna list first a few warning signs that its time to stop all contact with said female, and start throwing rocks at them, as this is the only way they will leave you alone.

5 Warning signs

1. Calling you with nothing to say. This may seem sweet and stuff at first, but after the long silences, it starts to get creepy.
2. Talking about other guys. Now even if you have no romantic attraction to her, this is a sure sign that they view you as "another one of the girls" and this may lead to them telling you things you DONT want to know.
3. They come over, and wont leave. I've had this problem myself, you tell them you dont want to hang out and go inside, and the dumb bitch stays on your fucking lawn. Shoot these offenders on sight.
4. They call up crying, repeatedly. Now once or twice is fine and understandable, but there are some who think that its ok and do it alot. They, must be run down like small animals.
5. Baby talk. The number one killer of sperm cells, baby talk is the worst way to ensure a man will chase you down the street with a shovel.

Well then, now you know a few early warning signs, but there are some hose-beasts who are more devious.

The 3 worst tricks woman play.

1. The, "I want you to beg me to tell you something" game. Easiest way to defeat it: ignore it, they'll tell you anyway.
2. The, "Do i look good in this?" game. No right awnser. "YES!" "PIG! *slap*" "no." "JERK! *slap*"
3. The most devious, evil trick of all. "Read my mind!" game. They will just barely hint at something and expect you to know what they're thinking. If you assume and assume right, they expect you do get it right every time, if you assume and assume wrong, this usually ends up like their responce to game two. Dont assume at all they get frustrated. I'm sorry my friends, there is no way of winning this game unless you assume correctly.

Dont get me wrong, not all girls commit these immortal sins, but the ones that do, should die, sir.